Honest Advice Isn't The Same Thing as Judgement

Let's be honest: It sucks when someone tells you something you don't like, but that doesn't mean that it's judgement.

You hurt your knee kickboxing, and you can't walk on it without it buckling. Now you're at your orthopedist's office. Before imaging, he suspects a stress fracture and tells you to stay on crutches. After imaging, he tells you that you don't have a stress fracture and that you've actually torn your ACL (again) and that you need surgery. He then explains the pros and cons of each surgical option.

This is medical advice.

This is what happened to me when I tore my ACL for the second time in 2013, and of course, I wasn't happy about it. I was kickboxing, teaching 3-4 cycling classes a week, working part-time, and going to acupuncture school full time and about to start seeing patients in school clinic. I didn't have time for this. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but it was unfortunately true.

I was fortunate to spend a semester shadowing the surgeon who did my second surgery, Dr. Andy Vietch, and I really enjoyed how direct he was/is with patients. First of all, he doesn't jump to surgery if he thinks physical therapy might accomplish the same goal, even when that's what patients want. But when he does recommend surgery, he's also very clear that having surgery is going to require a lot of hard work from them post-op. He wants patients to understand that a good surgeon is necessary and that he can deliver good surgical results but that a good outcome ultimately depends on how consistent and how hard the patient is willing to work.

This is medical advice.

Acupuncture is very similar, actually. Treatments send your body directions, and it is your body's response to those directions that produce the desired result. Sometimes, your body doesn't have all of the resources it needs to follow the directions, which is when we ask patients to make some changes. These changes might come about through herbs, diet, rest, meditation, or something else.

Think of it like a construction site. The plans are already drawn, but if the materials aren't there when workers show up, there's going to be a lot of sitting around until the necessary materials arrive.

Folks often come to acupuncture as a last resort and with little to no understanding of the medicine, which is unfortunate but completely understandable. After all, we don't take Chinese medical theory in school.

To help with this, I do a lot of teaching in my practice. I've found that that without an understanding of the medicine, patients filter advice through the only lens they have--allopathic medicine & western science. And when the advice given doesn't make sense to them, since they're using a lens that doesn't fit, they will often discredit it.

But that's not how Chinese Medicine works. It's its own system that has a cause and an effect. There are always rare exceptions, because we're working with the human body, but generally speaking, it works the way it works. I make recommendations based on what I think is the best strategy to address the patient's complaint.

This is medical advice.

I've found this to be both frustrating and empowering, for myself and for patients. The idea that you can create disease in yourself sounds and feels like blame, right? But more importantly, what an incredible opportunity it is to have the tools to help heal yourself! The fact that each of us has the ability to change our own health is awesome, so why aren't we more willing to follow medical advice?

In my experience as a patient and as a doctor, it seems that we all get a little sensitive--and maybe even a little offended--when a doctor delivers advice that requires something from us. When a doctor's advice is just to take a prescription or that we need surgery--something external--it absolves us of our responsibility, and we like that.

The medical model of the doctor as the do-er and the patient as the recipient allows us to continue on the way we always have, and that's almost always more comfortable for everyone. Change is uncomfortable, but like the saying goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

If you follow me, you may know about my history of extremely severe migraines--migraines that look more like a stroke than a headache--migraines that have included the inability to talk, one-sided numbness, temporary loss of vision, and even word searching.

Among the lifestyle advice that I received from my acupuncturists were to come for weekly treatments, decrease the intensity and frequency of my workouts, quit drinking coffee, start eating meat, especially duck, mussels, and pork--all things that were at the top of my gross list. (I still can't do mussels and don't do well with most pork, either, but I've made progress with bacon and duck).

I was in excellent physical condition. I ate very little junk food. I was vegan. I felt like I was doing everything "right", and I didn't like any of that advice, but you know what I liked even less? Having migraines that incapacitated me and symptoms that didn't fully resolve. So the way I saw things was even though I didn't like the idea of adopting those changes, it was the lesser of two evils.

Medical advice is not always what we want to hear, and sure, you should always get second and third opinions if you don't like the advice you receive. But if you continue seeing that doctor, you can expect that the advice isn't going to change; the advice given is based on that doctor's knowledge of the best way to help you.

I can now appreciate the health challenges that I've had, because I know what it's like to think that your lifestyle is healthy yet have problems that don't make sense. I also know what it's like to surrender your ego and your fears and listen to the advice given to you by those who are simply trying to help.

Receiving advice I didn't want to hear was never judgement; it was information. I could take it or leave it. It wasn't my doctor who was suffering through insane migraines. It was I. So I held my nose (in the beginning) and started eating meat. I reduced my workouts and severely reduced my coffee intake. I started drinking bone broth and taking naps whenever possible.

Am I as lean as I once was? Nope. But do I have migraines? Nope.

Case end point. I will always be honest, because I want you to get the best outcome possible--whenever you're ready.